Saturday, September 27, 2008

Q&A with Lensey Hayes



Q: What was your inspiration in being a co-author in this book?


A: My wife and I have a strong relationship, but it didn't happen automatically. Those first months were extremely hard. I was unprepared and I figured that had to be why so many marriages fail. Once we got it together through the Word of God, utilizing what is written, I realized that I needed to share what we'd seen work, not just for us but for others.


Q: Has the book changed your marriage from the time you started writing until you finished the book?


A: Definitely. We had to learn even more from each other because we were writing a book together. We had hundreds of discussion points come up while combining our ideas and knowledge. We both got a deeper understanding of one another. We're better for the book. If we didn't make a dime from sales, I like what happened between us personally during the writing process.


Q: What has been your biggest hurdle to clear in marriage?


A: There were a lot for me, but the biggest would be taking full responsibility for my family. Coming from being a single, young man into a family with a teenager, I wasn't prepared to be a dad at all. I wasn't as ready as I thought I was. However, I wasn't about to give up. I'm not a quitter and it's worked for me in marriage. It's not for quitters, that's certain.


Q: What role does the Bible play in your marriage?


A: Everything is the short answer. We allow it to guide us constantly. When we mess up, we go back to the Bible. I'll share a life truth with you that will never change. If we could just possess and utilize the fruit of the Spirit, we'll have everything we need to make our marriages successful, and any other relationship.


Q: Give us one piece of advice.


A: Short answer, you can't be selfish. The unit is more important than selfish ambition. Put your spouse second only to God and your marriage will work out every time.

24 comments:

Julie Asher said...

Agreed. You cannot be selfish. You have to be a giver because marriage is demanding.

Joyce Anthony said...

Good answers, Lensey :-) Your last statement reminds me of one I learned years ago from a very dear friend: "A man and his wife are to be a blanket unto each other." What you say is so true. In a relationship, it isn't about you and it isn't about me--it is about us.

I'll be stopping back in later to see what you and Lacresha are up to. Congratulations on the book launch!

unwriter said...

I had to stop in here before I start work. I can't believe I just said that. I work at home doing what I love most (writing), yet it's work. Without God in your life, your relationships, failure is bound to happen. Yes, Your partner (and friends), all come second to God.

Watch my wordpress blog on Oct 1 & 2 for the Hayes blog tour stops.

ron

Lia said...

You're book looks great! You're husband seems perfect! Wow. Well, thanks for the interview.

liatheddrfreak (at) gmail (dot) com

conarnold said...

Thanks for sharing these comments about marriage. Hopefully your new book will be helpful for many people in working to make their marriages better. I so agree that God must come first, then your spouse second, and utilizing the fruits of the Spirit will make your marriage a joyful success!
Connie

Chris Redding said...

Sound like a great book and necessary.
How long have you been married?
cmr (celebrating 18 years)

Sharon - Aloha is Forever said...

Great interview and great answers. I wish you great success in promoting your book through this blog tour. I'm sure you have much to share with your readers and just the fact that you and your wife took the time to discuss and talk through issues in order to write it has put you miles and miles ahead of most couples. My husband and I learned early on that communication was crucial to our becoming one. I love your title - unfortunately "truth" is what is most sadly lacking in most marriages and it's that willingness to speak truth about anything and everything that leads to intimacy. Great success to you in promoting your book!

Melissa Ewell Miller said...

I love this idea of a couple sharing what works for them. All too often, we only hear about the negative statistics and marriage horror stories. Instead we have a book that directs couples to the word to find truth and enhance intimacy as well as an honest accounting of practical advice.

Congratulations Lensey and LaCresha!

I can't wait to read Truth and Intimacy - A couple's Journal

Marvin D. Wilson said...

Nice kick-off post, you Hayes's! Lensey will be stopping in for an interview as part of this tour at Free Spirit blog also, on the 10th of October. Looking forward to it.

I think it's great that you two would put your experiences growing together in the Spirit into a book. What a great idea and what a growth experience it must have been and will continue to be.

Marvin Blogs at Free Spirit: http://inspiritandtruths.blogspot.com/
Eye Twitter 2 - http://twitter.com/Paize_Fiddler

Janna said...

This sounds like the kind of book that would make a great wedding present!

Janna
ryanx6 at msn dot com

simplify said...

Lensey,

That was a great interview. Much success to your family, the book and your company.

Carol

Lacresha Hayes said...

Chris,

We've been married only a year, together for 6 years.

Erica Newton said...

Wonderful interview. It's nice to finally see the man behind the woman, in front of the woman. Sorry. LOL!

Just purchased a couple copies. I want that Vicky Secret card.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed reading the interview. Have added the book to my TBR list. I think another thing that has helped in our marrigae is to always be happy and enjoy each other. We try not to be negative. Works for us
JWIsley@aol.com

Henrietta said...

Lensey,

Great interview. I'm very happy to have had the chance to peek into your marriage. Mine is sometimes troubled, but I believe this book will help. I ordered it and I'm praying that I can get my husband to read it. Any tips?

Whitney Freeman said...

Caught the announcement in the group. This is a great idea. Don't mind if I steal it, do you?

Great interview.

Christine Taylor said...

Beautiful photos, book cover and blog. Super on the interview. Blessings to you both.

christinet1975@yahoo.com

favorthefuture said...

Great interview questions and answers. I was married 9 days short of 17 years. Yes we had some good years, unfortunately some hurdles landed in our path that we could jump over. I have not ruled out marriage in my future. Do you think your book would be good for a single person looking to be married? Thanks!

Lacresha on Writing, Women and Wisdom said...

Favorthefuture, definitely. There's a section in there for women who want to improve themselves. Notice this: the Bible didn't say a man who finds a woman, but a man who finds a wife. We need to adjust to the idea of marriage as soon as we know we may get married.

Alicia said...

Nice interview, Lensey

favorthefuture said...

Lacresha thanks! I had planned on purchasing the book for a young couple, now I will have to purchase two. Much Love and Many Blessings!

Steve said...

I learned a lot. You can tell a preacher because they cant write without sounding like they're preaching.

Lensey C. Hayes said...

henrietta,

Just ask him to read it with you. Even if he says no, you read it and talk to him about what you are learning.

Anonymous said...

This is concerning Living Waters Publishing Company. Please do NOT BUY any more of my books for this illegitimate company of crooks
and a bunch of FRAUDS! Read one of the many letter I have written to them. Thanks for your time!Lensey & Lacresha: What is happening? I can not get hold of you nor LW! Is LW going under and is all of my money and the books headed "South in the sewer"!? I need to know! I hate to say this but I think you and all at LW are not on the up and up with us. If you were in trouble "why" couldn't you just have the guts to tell all of us!? Instead of lying and cheating all of us? I sent the letter to the staff at LW and this is what I got back as it was returned to me saying no host or domain by THAT name was there. I can not get the LW book site to even come up! I think I have been duped and taken to the cleaners and didn't even know my pants were down! "The letter I wrote and got returned": To whom it may concern: David Hobbs, Jessica Davis Christine Taylor: Hey guys, I want the truth. What is going on at LW that no one writes me or keeps me up on my books (and I do have several supposed to be coming out this year!) and nothing on my check (pay day for me) nor does anyone answer when I ask about the phone being discontinued. All I got was a note from Cre's hubby saying she was in the hospital and it was rough enough without people writing him about all this stuff! Well, excuse me, but I DO have an interest in this, as it is MY money
& MY books that we are discussing here! There are others that are asking questions too! In the past, I have taken up for LW and all of it's employees, etc. from people who called you thieves, liars and more! Now all of this stuff is happening and no one seems to care to give me a straight answer. Jess, I thought we were friends, right? Then please give me the truth on this matter. Now people are saying LW is not a Publishing Co. at all but it is run by a bunch of IDIOTS who only WANT to publish! So do I agree with them and contact a lawyer or am I getting some info on all I asked about (including my "first" pay check that has NOT come to me as of yet)? I was hoping all that Aidana had spread was not true either! But I am wondering now. Thanks. Katie