Sunday, September 21, 2008

If You're Going to Strive...

If you are going to strive, strive together with your husband/wife. Amazingly, even in a time when everyone seems to be driven and goal oriented, couples are often striving for two different things, or the same things in different ways. They are wearing themselves out and all the while feeling unappreciated and alone. Which all brings me to this post.

Imagine being physically tied to someone. He wants to go east. She wants to go west. They both take off going two different directions. What happens next is one reason many couples experience friction in their lives. The line in the rope tightens as they pull in two different directions. Then, it becomes a battle of strength. The strongest one ends up dragging the weaker one. How far and how long do you think they'll make it? More importantly, how long do you think it'll take before bitterness takes over?

If you gotta strive, do it together. Sit down and discuss your plans, goals and fears. Make a singular plan for your family and work that thing together, doing the same things or at least working in harmony with one another until you've accomplished your goals. That way, no one is unnecessarily bitter or tired. Both parties know they have someone who is in this fight with them. The bond grows closer, forming something many will never understand - self-sacrificing love.

Copyright 2008 (All Rights Reserved)

5 comments:

unwriter said...

working together in harmony counts in friendships also. How many close friendships have been shattered because one side or the other is unwilling to give a little? How many friendships become closer because they can work out their differences?

good post

Lacresha on Writing, Women and Wisdom said...

Thanks, Ron. You're absolutely right. I guess when I look at it like that, its true for all relationships, even parent/child relationships. You made me think further.

Holly said...

But if love is "self-sacrificing," doesn't that imply either a lose-lose or win-lose situation? If a couple's goals are truly in harmony, no one's "sacrificing" anything. How do you negotiate to achieve real harmony? This sounds good, but implying that one or both individuals has to "sacrifice" is just a kinder, gentler way of saying that the stronger one (or the more strong-willed one) is going to get their way, while the other learns to give "self-sacrificing love."

Lacresha on Writing, Women and Wisdom said...

LOL, Holly. That's how most marriages are, but my husband and I normally take opportunities to bless each other in areas that are normally denied. I never want him to feel like he gave up anything for me, other than the obvious stuff that comes along with any relationship.

Erica Newton said...

Lacresha,

John and I were right there, going two different directions. So, he was constantly being pulled in a direction he didn't want to go because he's surprisingly nonconfrontational at home. So, I learned that love does not selfishly seek its own way. So, I give to him sometimes. I do it his way, even I don't agree sometimes. He's mostly right too, so I don't lose anything. I pray and ask God to help neither of us be selfish and obstinate. I want to be a yielded wife, not just for him, but because that is what God requires. Doesn't mean I don't voice my opinion and demand he gets it together when he begins to slip because that too is what God requires.