Security Alert - A Marriage Threat

Security Alert! Security Alert!

One of the biggest issues with marriages during times of struggle is insecurity. Women tend to become more needy and less secure when their needs are not met. Men become more insecure in the marriage when their wives hassle them. Don't let the stress of living bring issues of insecurity into your marriage.

Take a moment out of each day to reassure each other. Ladies, your husband needs to know that you support him, even if he isn't in a position to take care of you like he once did. Men, your wives need to know that you are willing to fight with them for a happy marriage. They don't want to feel like they are alone in holding everything together.

Don't let the happenings of the world into your marriage. Keep it out with love and reassurance.

Lovemaking - Keeping it Real

Now, I'm somewhat of a southern belle. I am never comfortable talking about sex. It's so personal. It's like using the restroom. Everyone does it, but no one with manners discusses it publicly. LOL!

Anyway, sex is a part of marriage. Many couples report that their sex life is a direct reflection of every other part of their relationship. And to be honest, for some, that is the biggest problem. Problems that happened outside of the bedroom are brought to the bed and couples turn their backs to one another. This can be a detriment.

Now, I'm not a believer that sex cures problems, but lack of sex definitely creates more of them. Women and men respond differently to outside stimuli. Men can be very upset (or many of them) but still function sexually with their wives, often times being much more open to working through issues after sex. Women are different. They can only respond appropriately when they feel like they are in a safe environment, or their needs are met. A man can have a disconnect notice and still perform. A woman, on the other hand, often times find her mind traveling to all that she need while sex is going on and gets nothing out of it.

In fact, more than one woman has went more than ten years without experiencing orgasms, or even pleasure. That is why we're not going to further discuss sex. We are going to talk about lovemaking, which is a different animal altogether. Lovemaking begins way before the bedroom comes into the picture. It is the simple things in life. It is the small thoughtful things a husband does, the sweet things a wife does. Lovemaking happens way less often than sex and marriages suffer daily. Today, decide you are going to go home and make love to your spouse. Start the moment you walk through the door. Don't go straight for the bedroom but begin on an emotional level. Today is your day to connect with your spouse.

Victorious in Unity

While there are many things we cannot do alone, there are few things that a couple cannot do together with respect and unity of spirit. For unity to be real, you have to unite on several levels"

• Unity of spirit - praying and studying the Word of God together
• Unity of body - a healthy and passionate love life that is mutually satisfying
• Unity of mind - sharing goals and creating a life plan together rather than apart

When a couple spends time uniting in this way, they will no doubt be victorious in every circumstance and in every way.

Loving Her

Men, did you know that one thing your wife craves more than anything is your support? Women like to feel protected and loved in a marital relationship. They want to be free to be themselves. To love a woman is to listen to her. There's no way around it. No amount of gifts will replace your arms. No amount of money will be an adequate substitute for your listening ear.

I know that when you fall in love, you want to spoil your spouse. And, I'm not telling you to hold off on gifts. I am telling you to not expect them to replace YOU. If you married for love, she didn't marry your money. She didn't marry your assets. She married YOU. When a woman hurts, she wants YOU.

To love your wife, listen to what she says and care enough to discern the things she can't say. When you love her like this, you could go broke, you can become ill, you can have a string of bad luck, but she won't go anywhere.

Loving Him

Loving your husband is not an exact science that you learn from books and study alone. It is something you learn from your husband himself. Yes, read what you can find. Yes, educate yourself. By all means, get marital advice when needed. But, none of that replaces the input of your spouse.

Learn to ask questions, wait on answers, and see the things your man may never be able to express. While reading books, don't forget to read your husband. Plan time to understand him. Make efforts to show him that you're into him.

I made a declaration long ago that I would be my husband's best friend. I am, even when I don't want to be. If he has a problem, even if it is me, we talk about it. Sometimes, we fuss about it. Every time, we work through it together. That is how you love your husband.